The Pacers Have Signed Spongebob!

The Indiana Pacers have added another small forward to their roster. According to Shams Charania, the Pacers have signed St. John’s University product, JaKarr Sampson, to a veteran’s minimum deal. The six foot nine inch and 214 pound forward went undrafted in the 2014 NBA Draft and most recently played for the Bulls in the 2018-19 season.

Indiana Pacers Forward JaKarr Sampson in a game from last season with the Chicago Bull. Photo Courtesy of NBC Sports.

I could spout off some stats about Sampson, like how in his four appearances last season he averaged twenty points and eight rebounds, but I won’t. I could also tell you that his career averages are 5.5 points per game and 2.7 rebounds per game, but I won’t. Or I could go into detail about his wingspan of nearly seven feet, but I won't. I won’t tell you any of these things because they are not important.

What is important is that Sampson’s nickname is “Spongebob.” This might be the best thing I have ever heard in my life. If he ever sees playing time, the team has to have Spongebob saying “I’m ready. I’m ready. I’m ready.” echoing through the Fieldhouse. The team store should prepare jerseys with his number and the name Spongebob across the back. They would sell more of those than they would sell of TJ Leaf jerseys. I guarantee it.

There will never be a greater nickname in the NBA than this. Sampson could provide absolutely nothing to the team this year and his veteran‘s minimum contract will absolutely be worth it. I look forward to a season of Spongebob.

If you are interested, here are some of his highlights from a game last season.